Here are a few tips on how to deal with difficult coaches to make your childs athletic participation fun, productive and as stressfree as possible. Bulletproof system for dealing with difficult parents winsmarter. David hoch offers his approach on how to communicate with parents before and during the athletic season. If a coach is dealing with especially difficult home issues.
You may be right that his parents encouraged this behavior andor never taught him better. I have a kid that is a freshman football player that got injured. Todd whitaker and doug fiore wrote a book, eye on education, that i feel is a very useful tool, said principal les potter. But you dont need a degree in sport psychology to know that having a difficult or stern coach can not only make your childs athletic experience challenging, but also frustrate you as well. Dealing with difficult parents, coaches and staff usa gymnastics. Its sometimes difficult to approach the coach on the losing side of a game.
Visit kids sports psychology online mental training program. Tell kids to go play out back, but make it so you have some time to work with parents. How to deal with difficult coaches youth sports psychology. By todd whitaker ne of the most daunting tasks principals face is interacting with hostile or aggressive parents. At the start of the season, he tells kids and parents that all that matters to me is that everybody has fun. Childrens sports, coaching, parenting, sports july 28, 2009 the relationship between a coach and his or her players is one of the most important parts if not the most important part of a childs sports experience.
Lipani and hurley said they dont discuss playing time and parents must accept that the coach is operating with the best interests of the team in. Youth, middle school, junior high, high school and college from all over the usa and canada from ny, oh, fl, ga, ky, il, mo, mi, mn, nd, mt. An updated version would be great because parents today who rely on electronic communication are very different than parents of 2001. Dealing with difficult people at work inpower coaching. If you continue to be obnoxious, coaches will stop choosing your child. A fulltime editor, writer, and life coach, she lives in white plains, new york, with her husband and their two teenagers. Coach corey wayne discusses how to deal with an ex who makes it difficult to see your kids and always has nasty, mean and unloving things to. Learning effecttive strategies can help defuse tense situations and build trust. Building and maintaining a positive parentcoach relationship is hard work, but its necessary to ensure that the parents will play a. This new supplement to the bestselling dealing with difficult parents, 2nd edition is designed to help you with the specific challenges you face as a school leader when dealing with parents. John osullivan has clearly and professionally illuminated this challenging. Dealing with parents is, in my opinion, the most difficult aspect of coaching in todays world. Dealing with parent the right way and avoiding unpleasant. How to deal with parents of athletes book trailer youtube.
Nov, 2018 if you ask a veteran coach what the most difficult or frustrating aspect of their job, they will more than likely say dealing with parents. Last year, my sons coach sent around a parent code of conduct we all had to sign before the season started. Handling these upset parents, though, can be the key to a successful season. Dealing with difficult people at work is difficult. It seems as if many parents, of any age child, think their child is an allstar. How to deal with difficult parents as a coach sisu blog.
I usually try to get the players to play some whiffle ball so the time wont go to waste and i try to do it somewhere so parents can see the kids so they arent worried about them. Jul 30, 2019 dealing with difficult parents is virtually impossible for any educator to escape. Whitaker and fiore not only provide realworld advice designed to proactively create positive teacher parent relationships, but also offer powerful and specific strategies for remaining professional and effective even in the face of the most difficult circumstances. How to deal with a difficult coach mental toughness trainer. It was geared more towards parents of students who are getting in trouble for something. Parent as coach is the indispensable guide for parents, teenagers, and adults.
It was his way of expressing early on that he did not want to deal with difficult parents. Jan 06, 20 many of us have run across the difficult youth baseball coach. A school leaders guide to dealing with difficult parents. First, it is necessary to separate the coachparent roles as much as you possibly can so that you treat all athletes the same 3. After months of rehab and injections he decided he wanted to. After months of rehab and injections he decided he wanted to try out for baseball. If a coach needs help with a parent, often regarding playing time, it is an athletic directors job to step in and help their coach. If you are going to coach your child s team, there are several things you can keep in mind so that the experience is a positive one. As a school administrator or teacher, you arent always going to make everybody happy.
A basketball coaching guide how to work with parents the right way and avoid. And i bet some days it makes you not want to go to the office at all. The reality in high school athletics are that parents are an important. Watching a child have fun, work hard, and become a better athlete affirms that your coaching methods are successful. A hazard of our profession is dealing with difficult parents or guardians from time to time. And although this report teaches how to handle difficult parents, its important to realize that you cant, and shouldnt try, to please everyone. The teenage years can be a confusing time of change for adolescents and moms and dads alike. Learning how to deal with these parents is something we accept when we take on the role of coach. We used the book as a community learning tool with our teachers and staff. Dealing with difficult parents on the sidelines teamsnap blog. Dealing with difficult parents one of the most unenviable components of a principals job is interacting with angry parents. Ever wanted a real experts advice on how to deal with the problem.
If your coach has not done something like this, perhaps you can suggest it to him or her. Along the way, though, there are sure to be obstacles. Many of the lessons and values in this book are timeless and will. We also forget that our kids play sports because they want to have fun with their. May 04, 2012 10 best strategies for dealing with difficult parents most of us in education have had the misfortune of dealing with a difficult parent or family, had a conflict with a parent or student, or have been ambushed by an upset person in school. Volunteer coaches mean well, but they dont always do well. The parents, however, have no interest in dealing with the problem and even seem annoyed at you for bothering them at home or work. For the sake of simplicity, allow parents to refer to whoever has legal. Here are a few tips on how to deal with difficult coaches to make your childs athletic participation fun.
Oct 04, 2012 coach corey wayne discusses how to deal with an ex who makes it difficult to see your kids and always has nasty, mean and unloving things to say to you when you talk to her about seeing your kids. This is the followup email to the one sent a few days back dealing with difficult parents the response was abundant and very informative. Before we talk about how to best deal with difficult parents, lets first talk about how to avoid problems in the first place. Jan 28, 2014 this is the followup email to the one sent a few days back dealing with difficult parents the response was abundant and very informative. Early in the year, he got acl injury and had to have a operation. Our jobs are similar in the sense that we spend time dealing. Its vital that you stand up for what you believe in and stay true to the coaching techniques you think work best. If you are the type of coach that is stern and by the book, let them know. How to coach kids to set goals and deal with the difficult bits of life. Sharkie, with her expertise as an outstanding athlete, coach and parent. Erica is a book author, former fashion analyst for nbc10. Jan 23, 2016 the other listed tips are sure to help any youth sports coach deal with angry and difficult parents. The casual coach believe it or not, the casual coach may do more to take the fun out of your childs athletic experience than any other type of volunteer coach. Naturally, you reach out to the parents to alert them, get insight, and develop a plan.
I have a read a book called the politics of coaching by carl pierson that. My parents were too busy working several jobs to pay the bills to micromanage my sports career. Its difficult to watch our kids play a sport and not have any control over the outcome. How to handle parents while coaching howstuffworks. Dealing with difficult parents is virtually impossible for any educator to escape. The code of conduct can be fairly simple and should focus on setting a good example for the athletes and can be signed by each parent. Working with parents is just part of the landscape but for some of us this is never fun even when most of the lacrosse parents are nice, understanding, reasonable people there tends to be at least one overzealous parent that can make the whole thing a nightmare. Coaches, stop dealing with parents and start engaging them. A particular student in your class struggles with grades, behavior, or both. Coaches, stop dealing with parents and start engaging. Download the how to deal with difficultbully coaches podcast right click and save as to your computer download our free e book.
Parent dealing with difficult teacher my son is a brilliantly gifted 15 year old that is a total underachiever in school. Dealing with problem parents the cheerleading company. Letting the kids have fun is great, but being too casual is a problem. Proactive measures are better than reactive action. Dealing with difficult parents is the ultimate howto guide for navigating the often rough seas of parental communication. Oct 29, 2015 angry parents make life difficult for coaches. We forget that most of us are simply average that is what the word average means. That tidbit of information will make a difference when the choice between going to practice or skipping to go to the waterpark comes up.
Probably great for intermediate or middle school teachers. When dealing with a group of difficult teens, focus on the leader many teachers know that when they face a group of disruptive students in class, its not necessary to deal with each offender. This earlierisbetter mentality began surfacing in the late 1970s and early 80s, and i believe it had a lot to do with parents having more free time and a surplus of discretionary income. This was a pretty basic book about dealing with difficult parents.
How to work with parents the right way and avoid unpleasant. If you are the type of coach who awards effort equally to skill, parents should know that as well. Dealing with difficult parents, 2nd edition by todd whitaker and douglas j. In my seminars with educators on handling difficult parents the title of my book on this topic, i often begin by asking participants to call out words that come to mind which best describe parents who are difficult. Learn about cooperative coaching and other ways of dealing with parents on the. The main book, dealing with difficult parents, 2nd edition, shows how your teachers and other educators can c. Dealing with crazed sports parents the art of coaching.
Many people who get into coaching youth sports do so because they want to make a difference in young lives. Ive heard more than one coach tell me, coaching would be great if it werent for the parents. Follow up dealing with difficult parents readers respond. For the sake of simplicity, allow parents to refer to whoever has legal guardianship throughout the remainder of this article. If you have children and are a teacher or administrator, you have been at both sides of the table described in this book at some point. Nov 17, 2018 this earlierisbetter mentality began surfacing in the late 1970s and early 80s, and i believe it had a lot to do with parents having more free time and a surplus of discretionary income.
You are in a position where it is sometimes necessary to make difficult decisions, and parents will sometimes challenge those decisions, especially when it comes to student. But however flexible principals must be about some things. If you ask a veteran coach what the most difficult or frustrating aspect of their job, they will more than likely say dealing with parents. The other listed tips are sure to help any youth sports coach deal with angry and difficult parents. As fees increase and social medias impact grows, its difficult to see the tide turning toward making the parent problem easier to handle. An essential guide for any parent with a child in sports.
But, how a coach responds to said angry parents is just as important as how a coach acts after dealing with angry parents. In every coachs career, it is inevitable that they will at some point be faced with the wrath of an angry or overly aggressive parent. As a coach, dealing with parents just comes with the territory. With all those negative connotations, its safe to say, nobody ever looks forward to having to deal with anything. A teachers survival guide suzanne capek tingley, judy larson on. He is currently expelled for having a knife at school and is. In this piece we are particularly discussing dealing with parents. Apr 26, 20 in my seminars with educators on handling difficult parents the title of my book on this topic, i often begin by asking participants to call out words that come to mind which best describe parents who are difficult. The main book, dealing with difficult parents, 2nd edition, shows how your teachers and other educators can communicate with parents more effectively.
Preseason communication 2011 national athletic directors conference dr. In this video, garcia explains that coaches and athletic directors always have to deal with upset parents. John osullivan shares the secrets of the coaches and parents who have not only. As parents and coaches of young athletes, we spend a great deal of our time. Whatever you do, dont fall into the trap of trying to parent him. When dad or mom is the coach educated sports parent. If you coach for long enough, these encounters become inevitable. And although this report teaches how to handle difficult parents, its important to. Jul 01, 2017 jacks onlin hitting class now open for enrollment at former major leaguer jack perconte helps coaches learn how to coach the game so players learn the. Strategies for dealing with tough coaches mental toughness. It shows you how to deal with the parent who is bossy, volatile, argumentative, aggressive, or maybe the worst apathetic. Jacks onlin hitting class now open for enrollment at former major leaguer jack perconte helps coaches learn how to coach the game so players learn the. Jun 15, 2014 overbearing parents add stress to coaching. Every rule has an exception and no matter how consistent principals attempt to be, there are times when plans must be adjusted.
Sadly, dealing with unreasonable parents can be the most difficult part of coaching youth. Every coach has encountered the infamous difficult parent. Dealing with upset parents as an athletic director pca. Whitaker and fiore not only provide realworld advice designed to proactively create positive teacherparent relationships, but also offer powerful and specific strategies for remaining professional and effective even in. This book helps teachers, principals, superintendents, and all educators develop a repertoire of tools and skills for comfortable and effective interaction with parents. How to deal with difficult parents as a coach sisu guard. A school leaders guide to dealing with difficult parents by. These are the parents who show up at practice demanding to know why their son or daughter isnt getting more playing time. Dealing with difficult parents requires that principals first deal with themselves. So, as a sports parent, how do you deal with difficult parents. In fact, most coaches that i know that have quit or taken a hiatus from coaching usually do that for parent reasons as well. Many of us have run across the difficult youth baseball coach. Thanks to this coach, its brought you here to learn mental toughness skills.